UX Writing Tweaks for a Smoother Ride

I’ve recently been helping my nephew out with driving lessons by getting some kilometres under his belt. I try not to micromanage (brake… Brake… BRAKE!) but instead, provide foundational suggestions that can lead to better decision making. 

One of my sage principles is to be predictable. As long as you’re driving in a predictable way, other drivers will be less confused and more patient. This results in the entire system running smoothly and drivers getting to where they need to go.

While looking for a website I could jazz up with clear, concise, and targeted UX writing, I stumbled upon Vena Solutions. I don’t know much about their offering, but I did find some “stop-and-go traffic” when it came to understanding what they do. 

Before

The first thing that stood out to me was a non-clickable URL in the subheading, which immediately breaks my mental model of how URLs work. If I were interested in checking out “Vena Nation Week”, I would need to:

• Highlight the URL

• Copy the URL

• Open up a new browser window or tab

• Paste the address 

• Hit enter/return

This adds 5 actions to complete a one-click task, definitely not behaving like I expected.

The next section lays out three great reasons we should consider using Vena. Without any background knowledge or context of their product, I thought it would be more clear to:

• Remove jargon: if a reader isn’t sure what FP&A (financial planning and analysis) is, they might quickly conclude that this product isn’t for them
  

• Decrease cognitive load: longer sentences prevent readers from scanning—and for the ones that do soak up every word—it adds more clutter to the message
  

• Use positive language: Everyone loves saving time, but loss aversion doesn’t have the same effect on time as it does on other assets. Focusing on tangible benefits first, might be better served here

After

Vena Solutions is likely a great company building software that does great things. I believe a few tweaks to their marketing copy can really help communicate their greatness to the masses!